One late night back in Arizona I was on the way to the gym and as I stepped out of my house and shut the door I heard something around the corner. I froze in thought. "Was it my husband coming home from his meeting early? Was it my friend Tara who was supposed to meet me at the gym? Was it a guy wearing a hockey mask wielding an ax?"
My imagination always leans closer towards someone planning my demise. But I tried to push the thought from my mind as I fumbled with my keys to lock the front door. As I cut myself off from personal sanctuary scarier scenarios plaid through my mind and as I stood in the dark listening I continued to hear something around the corner waiting. I started to panic and decided I had to do something. My "something" was the worst "something" ever used to ward off an attacker.
I started hopping... I hopped as high as I could while lifting my arms up and down above my head with fingers jazzed. I also yelled "Hiya, Hiya, Hiya," over and over again. As I jumped diagonally across my lawn like this I came face to face with the blood thirsty attacker who scared the dignity out of me.
It was my neighbor walking his dog. He just stood there staring at me while his dog barked and ran in circles out of control. All I could do was apologize and run to my car and never look back.
Now I live in New York and it occurs to me that this defense tactic didn't work then and it probably won't work now where I might actually need it. Who wants to take karate lessons with me?
11 comments:
Ha ha ha! Leslie, you're crazy! Good story though, my heart started pounding. Very intense.
Oh my gosh Les, I laughed so hard that I cried while reading that. I can picture you doing that, it's just SO funny!!!! I love you so much!!!!!!
I don't really know Bruce Lee. But I'm sure he'd be proud. And so would those poison-juice-spitting dinosaurs on Jurassic Park. Because this is what I think you must have looked like.
I love you Leslie!!!!! You need to blog more so I can get a good laugh in every day!!!!
me! i am kind of peeing my pants right now.
Love you Leslie! Do you know about Bruce Lee from Dad. You know, he is one of his idols along with Steve McQueen. Hey love your new Blog background. Did you notice her cute shoes peeking out from her dress?
Miss you girlie! In Az right now and wishing you were around the corner ready to surprise me with another karate move!
That is Hilarious!!!! I can so see you doing that!!! :o) Hey, I was looking throught pictures the other day, and I found one of you, me, and krista all dressed up in 70 clothes wiht bright red lipstick and riding in my nova!!! LOL!!! Then I found a picture of you helping me wash my nova at the car wash!!! Man good times!!!! :o)
LESLIE!!! That was wonderful! I was laughing SO hard!! I am STILL laughing! You are the cutest human being ever! I'm so lucky to have you as my sister!
AAAHHH you are one funny girl! That's my favorite story ever!
This is so true! I remember she told me this and was so embarassed! I love you honey!
Post a Comment