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Come on over to my new blog! Tales Of Super Plus

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We Were On a Break

Rheslie and this blog are about to take a break. I love this blog, but I am ready to try something new. It's not the blog, it's me, and I have been really busy lately.

I have teamed up with my ultra-hilarious friend Crystal and we've been writing together. It's something we've wanted to do for a long time. And we have a whole fresh batch of ideas and stories we would normally text each other throughout the day. It's been really fun so far, and if you didn't know? Crystal's insanely witty. You'll enjoy her, I promise. We may take on pseudonyms later, but for now, this is us.

Check out the new pen-pal blog here: http://talesofsuperplus.blogspot.com/

Remembering The Colbys

My first experience with the nomadic culture of Manhattan was the loss of the Colby's. I saw it happen to loads of other people but as the cliche goes (and this post is going to be full of cliches) I never thought it would happen to me.

Erin says she knew we were destined to be best friends because we loved animals, I knew we were going to be friends because we had the same pillows, the exact same style of everything really. Jordan and Rhett were besties from day one because I am pretty sure they are the same person.

Our St George vacation together sealed the deal and we have video to prove it.




Then, like all great love stories ours was star crossed and would end sooner than Rheslie could ever imagine or be prepared for. Jordan was accepted to a dental school in AZ. The state across the country I once called home, my birthplace would cause the death of our friendship.

That's a little dramatic and it's not dead but we don't get to hang out twice a week anymore, and I think we will always be friends, we made enough packs and oaths with one another to stay in touch and share more adventures. We just miss you Colbys and to all my AZ friends, you are SO lucky!

I Go To School...

and sometimes I even learn things. This week I am loving everything I am gleaning from ol' UOP. My class is called "Communication: Theories and Practice" and the best thing I have learned so far is that I am NOT crazy, but, I have ran into a whole bunch of people who are. That's right, it's you, not me.

The specific communication theory is called "Uncertainty Reduction Theory". It states that communication upon an initial meeting is used to reduce uncertainties between strangers and people are most concerned with increasing predictability in an effort to make sense out of a communication experience. Meaning, all of those conversations about where you grew up, your favorite color or movie and how many brothers and sisters one has are really important and part of our cultural ritual. We need all that superficial conversation so we can feel comfortable enough to build a relationship.

When a person violates cultural ritual by self-disclosing inappropriate information within the initial meeting their behavioral uncertainty will increase and we secretly think, "you are crazy!"

This makes sense to me, when I meet a person for the first time I don't tell them about how I love making music videos about my cats or that I don't just bite my fingernails, I bite my toenails too*. I would alienate everyone! Anyway, all in all I don't mind crazy people, they make my life interesting. Just don't expect me to handle it with grace or class if you show me your appendix scar before you tell me your name.

*these are mostly jokes.

The Gift

My awesome Bro and his Stellar wife came to visit NYC and it was SO much fun! (More on all those adventures later) ...And Dan, I tried to find a flattering picture of you but EVERY one looked like this so that is all on you.

While we were touring around I came across the perfect little gift for my sister Sarah who is pregnant with a tiny baby boy. Below is Sarah peeking over her baby bump. Isn't she so cute? She is my favorite big sister.

For those who don't know, I get super excited about presents! If they are for me I peek at them early and if they are for someone else I usually tell them about it before they even get it. So, as to not break tradition.... SARAH!!! I got your baby a cute little I Heart NY onesie and it's so cute and I couldn't wait for your baby to wear it so I put it on my cat.

I'm Sorry.

I lint roller-ed it after, hee hee, I hope you still like it!

Gotham Girls

Last weekend was the Bronx Vs Brooklyn Roller Derby! It was the single most awesome sporting event I have ever been to. There was spitting, violence and just the right amount of cursing!
Here were two of our favorite girls, brutal, frighting and so FAST!! Everything you would want in a woman. I am standing with Bonnie Thunders, she tore it up! No one could touch her. Of course, she could elbow everyone else in the nose as she passed.
A lot of the fun was because we brought along the Browns. New to NYC they, like us, want to do it all before the clock runs out and move from the city to the suburbs.
All the character names of the girls playing were great. A few of my favorites where Haulin Cass, Bunny McBones, and B. Zerk. Which triggered my desire to have my own roller derby name. I am thinking about using Kirsti Ow-ly, or M. Paler...Ugh, those arn't very good. This is hard!

If you ever get a chance to go to a roller derby, DO IT! You wont regret it!

UPDATE: I have to take back what I said about Spiderman the Musical. After convincing my friend to go we found out they COMPLETELY changed the show. When we sat down to talk about the show nothing was the same and all of the fun parts we loved were taken out! BOOO!!! WHY!!!!

Netflix Is Ruining My Academic Career

I always enjoy blaming someone or something else for my short comings. This week I would like to blame Netflix, I just can't stop watching Netflix so I can write my paper, which is due tomorrow. Like a Siren in the night Netflix calls to me. I, a simple sailor on the S.S. Education, can't resist the haunting song of old Wings, Parks and Rec, and Bones episodes and documentaries about the evolution of food and corrupt businesses. As my ship sinks to the bottom of the sea I feel no remorse, how could I? When Tony Shalhoub keeps cracking me up!

So, what person, place, or thing keeps you procrastinating and stops you from productivity?

Oh Rhett, You Are Hilarious!

Below are three pictures I found saved on my Laptop, I am pretty sure it was either Rhett or one of our garden gnomes. But why? I tried my best to solve the mystery.

This one is actually something we have done...more like we order a salad with pizza though and just completly ignore it. Nutrition is a waste of money sometimes. We can't be the only people to let veggies go bad in the fridge while baked goods don't even get a chance to cool before they are eaten right?

GHAH Ha ha ha...This is a bride on an Air Chair, Never heard of air chairs? Us either until we met the Hardies. Why do the Hardies know so much about them? You'll have to ask them. Now, why did Rhett save this particular air chair picture? Does he want to renew our vows on air chairs? I hope so! Eep!

This picture just makes me feel smarter for having read it. I feel like it answered all the dino Q's I ever had. Rhett must have felt the same and wanted to make sure I saw it.

URBAN DICTIONARY: L-BOMB

This is a short by my co-worker Gary. I thought it was cute!

Super Anniversary

I am pretty sure I have told everyone who reads this blog how much I LOVED the Spiderman Broadway Musical. In case you forgot, it is SO GOOD!!!! Go see it. It's amazing and fun and I don't know why there are so many haters out there.

I knew Spiderman was for us the second I saw the sign. Because, here is the thing about Rheslie, we just want to have a fun time,and go to fun activities, not intellectual, not time-honored, and nothing high class would draw us in.

When we were just dating we had an epiphany weekend. On a Friday we went to a monster truck rally and LOVED it! On Saturday we went to The Nutcracker and almost DIED of boredom. I'm not saying that The Nutcracker isn't valuable entertainment, I'm just saying Rheslie is low brow and the lower the better.

Rhett has made all my favorite things possible, I seriously wouldn't do so many fun things if I wasn't married to Rhett who never says no to fun. Here are some of my favorite Johnson activities.

• Renaissance Festivals
• Kayaking
• Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
• Walking Around Walgreens and Buying Weird Stuff
• Hotel Stays
• Watching Top Shot
• Going To the Shooting Range
• Bike Rides
• Ostrich Farm Visit
• Farris Wheels
• Magic Shows
• Brunch
• Cruises
• Concerts

Thanks Rhett, Happy Anniversary!

Days Of Thunder

Yeah, this weekend was like that...Minus Tom Cruise!

Where to begin?!?!? Well, for those who do not know I am the Cub Master (I like to use "Master" because it makes me feel powerful and like I have magic powers!) But, some might call me the Den Mother (see, not as fun.)

For WEEKS our Cub Pack has been working on building their very own car to be raced at the Manhattan Pinewood Derby. One parent put it best when they leaned over to me and whispered "Weeks of work for a few seconds of racing." Those few seconds were the CrAziEsT I have ever been a part of!

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the event!

Love Hate Relationship

While chatting with my friend Erin on the Subway train headed back uptown to our homes she talked to me about how much she is going to miss NYC when she leaves in a few months to support her husband with his education to become a dentist in AZ. (That’s right AZ friends and family, one of the loveliest families I have ever known is going to be right in your neighborhood! HANG OUT WITH THEM! You won’t regret it.)

Back in the subway car we continued our conversation and I blurted out. “I think I am done with New York.”

“Take it back! Be grateful you get to live in this city!” Erin replied.

She was right of course, I should be grateful to live in a place that offers so much! (More on that in a second) I have just been so worn out from work, school, a demanding calling at church, maintaining a social life, and finding time with my husband who is facing an even busier schedule than I am.All of these pressures for me are magnified by the difficulties that come with living inManhattan, the cold winter, the amount of time it takes to do something that was once so easy, like shopping or visiting a friend. The constant worry of claiming space, whether on a train, sidewalk, or apartment…The list of anxieties and struggles could go on and on.

On the other side of the pendulum swing are all the great things about NYC that have made life in the City so much fun. These last few weeks have been great; I get to hang out with brilliant women who consider me a friend. I went to a taping of the Regis and Kelly show. I saw the off Broadway musical “Golf.” Last night I went to a presentation from an intelligent Dr.who specializes in Individual and Couples Counseling. The topic was LDS women & Human Intimacy. She spoke to us about sex, dependency, autonomy, and how to develop better relationships with our partner.

Where else could I have such a diverse group of activities all in a row?So New York, I am going to try to appreciate you once again, the hint of spring might just be enough to help me remember why I love you.

(My Proof I went to Regis and Kelly)

I don't know what it is about Donald Trump in person but...I totally understand why he gets those hot chicks!

Abigail Breslin, Cute, but at this point I was still thinking about Donald.

Only The Classics

This Valentines lacked all the romantic elements a girl usually asks for. I don't really know how it happened. Rhett was busy, I was lazy, it just didn't happen. But I can't complain, I spent the day roaming the city in a super nice bus with a bunch of super nice friends!

My work was opening a brand new tour all about Classic TV and Movies around NYC ! I gathered as many people as I could to go with me and we rocked that tour! We even had a special guest on the tour. Joyce Randolph, from the TV Show The Honeymooners.

She is everything I want to be as I add years onto my life. She is pretty, classy, smart, sweet, and has an apartment on Central Park West. We instantly clicked.

I seriously had such a great time on this tour! I learned all sorts of history about the city and I laughed the whole day with Friends! WOOT! for Valentines Day!PS - Tony Horton is awesome...super nuts...but awesome!

Beard Bash and Stache Fest!

Where: Some Dive Bar in a shady part of Brooklyn

When: Monday Night LATE!

Who: Anyone with a love for Facial hair! (Hipsters encouraged to come)

Why: I continually ask Rhett to grow a mustache and he always says "no!" I try and remind him how lucky he is that his wife wants him to have facial hair but he just doesn't seem to care. So, I had to travel out to Brooklyn just to see a few. It didn't disappoint!

Below are some of the stars of the festival! It's nice they get appreciated at least once a year for all their hard work.

My GIRLS!!! WOOT WOOT!

Notice our awesome mustaches we grew out for the night. We look good right?

A few Friends I made!

P.S. My favorite thing about New York right now is my nice warm apartment.

¡Feliz Cumpleaños!

I don't even know where to begin! Rhett did such an AMAZING thing for me and I am SO in love with him for it. He threw me a Super AWESOME surprise party and all these people I loved where there and Rhett had bought all these crazy decorations and sombreros and mustaches and even fiesta serving trays etc. etc. My favorite Rhett quote was "If I thought to myself, 'I would never buy this' I knew I had to have it." That is how I ended up with a sponge bob pinata and a margarita glass that lit up.

(Hi Abbs! I totally stole this picture from you! Still love me.)

I do want to send out a big GIANT thank you to everyone that made my Birthday so stellar and a super plus thank you to Abbie who Was Rhett's right hand gal. We both sing your praise constantly.

Thanks for the Pics Anna! I don't know where Rhett put all of ours but I got the blogging bug so yours saved the day!

The Winner - Story # 3

It was a beautiful day in NYC, one of those days that you dream about when the city has become colder than an elf armpit. I was strolling around the Fort Tryon wilderness with Rhett on our way to the Medieval Festival. Fort Tryon has been the host of the Medieval Festival for years now because of the old and magical feel the park provides. As we walked up a hill towards all of the festival I began to see a bow staff here and a man in leggings there. It was sparse at first but the number of Robin Hood inspired characters grew as I marched closer to the top of the hill. I could spend hours writing about all the things I saw, tasted, smelled, and heard. But this post isn't about the wonderful things that happened; this post is about what a person does when they see someone they love being picked on and what it tells you about who you are as a person. Kind of like learning everything about a guy when you watch him play church basketball.

We made our way to the portable thrown together stadium where a couple was demonstrating their skills in hawk flying…Is there a term for that? Anyway, we found some empty seats and cheered on with the rest of the crowd.

A cold breeze that chilled me to the bones swooped up the bleachers. I looked down and running up the steps was a throng of children. I shivered and held my breath as they approached. I have been told in the past that they are like T-Rex's and if you stay very still they won't be able to see you, (they were wrong). They surrounded Rhett and I and the one little girl who seemed to be the leader glared right at Rhett. "He stole our seat" she shrilled "That guy is a jerk for stealing our Seat! What a Jerk"

This went on and on till I couldn't take it anymore! I leaned forward so I could look her straight in the eyes. Blind with the anger I shouted back at her. "HEY!!! IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR NAME'S ON IT!"

Ghah! I am so lame! But I was just so protective of Rhett. Can you really blame me for losing my cool? Plus, my fourth grader response worked. The rotten little girl retreated and took the little band of bleacher bullies along with her.

And everyone lived happily ever after.